Not posted on here for a couple of months, so will just update on myself.

Firstly... I've completely given up on the guy I like(d). Said he liked me ages ago, nothings happened since, fed up of waiting. Not that it really matters, If I went out with him, I'd only get freaked out after a month and end it. I'm fed up with having stupid intimace issues... I'm going to be single forever, lmao.

And I'm getting Fucking Stalked!!!!!

Going to see a theropist for the first time on Tuesday, and I'm Shitting myself about it... I know it'll only help me and there's no reason to be scared, I just get so nervous about sharing what stupid insane things are going on in my head. Think I need to make a list... could arrange it in order of how much the thing bothers me... sounds fun actually. Might have to talk to him about how I feel in social situatons aswell, i just can't do anything for myself. I had to get my prescription yesterday and needed to fill out the date... the lady told me what the date was and I started writing 24/05/08!!! wtf!!! Its only April 07. I just don't function properly if around people I don't know and feel under pressure or it's something important... always.

On a happier note... I'm going to stay with my uncle in Miami in 8 weeks time, 2 days after my last exam... yep, end of my education forever... Terrifying... my life is doomed! But anyway, I'm looking forward to getting away from it all and having the time to relax.

Think that's my life for now.

and writing that, I just remembered Mark (My Dad) has Cancer, not that I care, he could die and I'd only be upset for my Grandparents. Just crappy that he has to stay with them, which means I can't go down and see them :(

xxx

I just need to have moan!!!

I've always, since I was little, had OCD tendancies, but it's never been really bad enough to effect me.
But the last few months it's been getting worse, and now I can't stand it!!
I seem to keep picking up new routines that I have to do.

I've always had it so that If I turn around one way, I have to turn back the way I turned from, or if I step on a crack with one foot, I'd have to step on another crack with the other foot, so that my foot touches in the same place as the original foot did, and number sequences and touching and stuff.
But now... The touching has got worse! If I touch with my left hand I have to with my right hand, or if I like touched the door or something, and only 4 of my fingers touched it, have to make sure than the 5th finger does, but then it doesn't feel right when its only the one finger, so I end up standing there for a while touching the door untill it feels right!!!
If I touch a door frame, I have to make sure I touch the three nearest ones aswell!
Switches HAVE TO BE OFF!!! Why the fuck would somebody leave a plug socket switch turned on when there's nothing fucking plugged into it!?!
and draws have to be shut! with no clothes sticking out the top!

Checking things has become a big problem too! I feel like murduring something when I'm waiting to go for a night out! Every 1 to 5 mins i have to check my bag that I have my Key and ID in there, even though I know fully well that I checked only a minute ago, How could they possibly not be in there!?!
Then when I get home, as I'm the last one up, it's my responsibility to make sure the door is locked properly. which means that even though I know I locked it on the way in, I have to get out of bed to check... just incase!

and other stupid little routines I'm stuck in, and horrible disturbing thoughts that I can't get out of my head that stop me sleeping!!
It's impossible to list them all!


Just felt like I needed to let it out a bit!
Think I'm going to have to talk to mum about this all later and explain how much it's bugging me, I just know she'll tell me to just stop thinking like it, and stop being stupid. She won't understand!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to let you know... Rainbow Forums has moved!

NEW URL: http://rainbowtwist.proboards99.com/index.cgi
and It's called Cardboard Box now.

Sorry about the layout, it's looking a bit boring at the moment, but I'll change it when I have a bit more time!

Hope the members from before can come join us again :D

First dream:
People were being taken away to get their brains removed!!! But they were still living, bacuase apparently people have 2 brains, and the smaller one was left in.

Second Dream I was on holiday with family, and we were going to leave, but I was getting all stressed because I hadn't put any makeup on, so mum said I could go do it quickly, so I went along to the public toilet place. While I was there putting on my mascara, a man came over to me and asked how the showers work here. he asked if tha water fell down from above, or sprayed upwards from the floor...
That all I remember from that dream. but the next one I had was really disturbing!!

I was walking around with somebody (supposedly a friend), when the police ran up to us and hand cuffed this person I was with. We asked what she'd done, so they opened a door in front of us and showed us.
there was this body hanging from the ceiling which had been skinned. There were big chunks of bone missing and stuff. about half of the face/head had gone, but the eyes were sort of still in place, you you could see the eye stalk things, but there was nothing around the eyes. We knew that the person I was with had been set up, as it wasn't actually her.
The a bat came along and killed a policeman, the police woman then beleived it wasnt the friend who had done it, and she got killed.
next thing I know, I'm in this dark place on a bed with the friend. at the bottom of the bed, the bat was waiting, tellign us that what happened to that body we'd seen, was going to be done to us. I managed to exchange my PotC toy ship for my freedom!
So i ran out the room (which i realised was my bedroom) and told mum what had happened. She ignored me and went into the bathroom. I realised id left my bedroom door open, so held it shut.
When mum came out of the bathroom, she was like 'Now that's two poo's i've done already'. I told her to help me keep the door shut, but she was saying that she wasn't interested in helping as she has Diareah!

That is all i remember!

Preview:



( 7 Torchwood )

( 5 Billie Piper )

I've decided I'm going to record all the dreams I remember in here as i have them! I sometimes have dreams where I dream about something I've dreampt before, so I figured if I keep them on here, I'll understand it more.

They're really just for me to look back at, but you can read if you like, even though they wont be much interest to you :p

( Cut to the dream... Shopping, Rollercoaster, America, typing it out! )

I tried doing this Paul Mckenna hypnosis thingy which you watch online and do 3 steps. It's supposed to help cure phobias. Mum had told me about it and i thought it was worth giving it a go!

I had arachnophobia, and no, it wasn't just some little fear where I'm a bit scared of spiders, I was absolutely terrified! ( Click here to find out what happened )

I've just made a Will Young Wallpaper!

Here we go...



Also I now have a new default user pic! Suits my name now :D
The one I'm using is a bit... pink-er!

Why do I get so emotionally involved with TV programs???
Gah! It's not fair!!

Okay, I watch Home and away at 6 O'clock as usual, and they tell me that they're showing a premier of the next episode over on Five Life! I got so into the last episode that i couldn't help but flick over and watch it...

I HAVEN'T CRIED SO MUCH since The 9th Doctor Regenerated, and almost as much as the last episode of Friends!!! :| And that's saying something!!! A BIG something!!
Stupid programs getting all addictive like that!!
I'm actually kinda glad I watched it in advance, otherwise I'd be watching it with other people tomorrow, and that would just be plain embarassing!!

Torchwood statrts in less that a week, and I'm really looking forward to it, so decided to create a few icons :D also more Billie, and one Zoe Saldana!

Preview:


( 16 Torchwood )

( 7 Billie Piper )

( 6 Zoe Saldana )

If using one of these icons please comment & credit cardboard_box13

I had the Coolest dream last night!! And yay! Finally a Will Young one again! it's been a while! :D Was completely amazing!!

( All I Want Is to get you on your own Somehow )

Got this from my dear fried Sefi! Muahahaha!

Don't think the writer of this could count!

001. What is your name? Tanya
002. Spell your name backwards: Aynat
003. Date of birth: June 12th 1988
004. Male or female? Female
005. Astrological sign: Gemini
006. Nicknames: Tarty, Tanz, Hurley
007. Occupation? Student
008. Height: 5'6"
009.Weight: was 8st7 last month
010. Hair color: Brown
011. Eye color: Blue
012. Where were you born? Queen Mary’s??
013. Where do you reside now? In my Hooome!

( It's all about meeeeee, it's all about me! )

Supposed to be studying, but this was far more fun! :D

Here's some Billie and Will icons I made today!!

A little preview:


( Clicky here for 13 Billie Piper Icons! )

( Clicky here for 4 Will Young Icons! )

- If using one of these icons please credit cardboard_box13
- Comments appreciated

Here's a limerick I wrote about Jack!

An Adventure of the Captain named Jack
He escaped with the hairs from his back
Turtles used for a raft
It was really quite daft
Used his compass but never a map


I don't care what you think, I'm proud of myself! LOL! :D

Here are some of my banners!
Some of them are icon/banner sets.





Preview:






All larger under the cut VV

( You Like? Click here for the rest )

( Keira Knightley )

( Johnny Depp )

( Pirates Of the Caribbean )

( Will Young )

( Billie Piper )

( Orlando Bloom )

Thought I'd post up the reason behind my username! :p

Taken from the song Will Young sung on Foley and Mccall!
It's prettymuch taking the piss out of his songs all being about his feelings, lmao!

Here's the lyrics!! LOL!

Enjoy reading!

Feelings
I got these feelings, yeh yeh
got half a dozen feelings, no no
several hundred thousands of feelings, making me blue and I don't know what to do...
(put 'em in a box, Will)
with all my feelings
(do us all a favour, put em in a box)
What sort o' box?
(A cardboard box)
Feeling's, yeh yeh
You see them feelings have feelings, yes they have!
Feelings come right up to the ceiling, here in my heart and it's tearing me apart... (put em in a box, Will)
got so many feelings
(corrigated cardboard)
(put em in a box) What sort o' box?
(and it says on it 'this way up)!

I got a box that says this way up, (says this way up, it says this way up)
It's a cardboard box that says this way up, (it says this way up, it says this way up)
Oh yes it cannot be denied, what is written on the side, ...
(It's a box) Its a cardboard box
(and it's a box) and it says
This way up!

Preview:


( 9 Johnny Depp )

( 2 Keira Knightley )

( 8 Will Young )

( 13 Billie Piper )

( 1 Dominic Monaghan )

( 2 Angelina Jolie )

( 4 Random )


- If using one of these icons please credit cardboard_box13

Here's my Pirates Of The Caribbean Icons! :)

Preview:



( Clicky here for more, Savvy? )

- If using one of these icons please credit cardboard_box13

Here's some of my Doctor Who Icons!

Preview:


( Clicky here to see )

- If using one of these icons please credit cardboard_box13